Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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