oh god the rape fog is back!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
