Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
