Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
