I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
