i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize