Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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