I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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