i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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