what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
