That's when you crack a 10am beer
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
