I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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