I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
