No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
