No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
