New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
