So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
