So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
