At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
