The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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