Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize