Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
