There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
