Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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