you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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