worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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