I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
