The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
