Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
