Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
