Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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