I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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