I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
