I could have mohawked her pubes.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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