Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
