hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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