Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
