I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
