There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
