I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
All the doctor said was why
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
