I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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