I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
