I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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