I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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