Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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