I think I died a long time ago.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
