She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
