Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize
