Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
