Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
