he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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