at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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