I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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