the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
